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    January 31

    现实

    我对现实中的一切有太多太多的失望!记得小时候特别希望自己会长大,变成一个大人,能够得到自由。但是呢!越成熟越被约束,和以前不一样的是,现在并不是我们的父母约束,但却是现实社会中的种种需要规定限制法律看法,让我们不得不约束自己的所作所为。让我们不能不behave成一种所谓大众眼中的正常人!但是他们又有什么权利说什么算正常什么算变态另类疯狂和幼稚呢!我们为什么要为了那么一个因为那些没有资格规定的人决定下来的rule活着?记得小时候大人经常会说:梦想是你们的,自己去追求去创造。但如今呢?社会给我们太多的压力太多的规定太多的一切的一切。。。我们怎么去chase our dreams.....
    我讨厌现在这个社会,这个肮脏的社会,这个充满利用利益的社会,这个充满腐败权利视力得社会,这个一切都用金钱来衡量的社会!我讨厌,我看不起。。。why do we have to live within these stupid rules....!!!谁能告诉我。。。。
    你们就都很服从这个现实社会的一切规定吗?
    告诉我。。。。。

    奶奶的。。。。体重!!!!!!!操

    我到底怎么了!!体重一直往下降。。。。好不容易到了90。。。。现在!!又。。。。。。。。
    他妈的82斤!
    吃的还好。。。。。睡得到一般。。。但我体重也不应该这么快的掉啊。。。
    到底怎么了。。。!!!!!!晕
    January 30

    stars....your will always be that star

    at night it seems as someone is near
    not far from me but near me
    afaird to ask myself, why i feel this way
    when your near

    i wispier your name as if were mine,
    and hoping you would hear me
    wishing to the star, let you feel this way
    when im near!

    look high above, where hopes are high
    something has began now, feel the heart inside now
    so hold me tight
    and you will see, we are meant to be
    open up your eyes, and you will find that
    stars are bright like my heart
    and we have come this far with all our love....

    .................................................................................................................................................................................................................
    January 28

    almost 12 hours

    将近12个小时的睡眠!!!
    真晕阿。。。。。
    好久没有睡那么久了。。。特别的晕
    January 27

    你必须。。。

    suki.....!!!!
    你必须振作,你必须快乐,你必须想开,你必须开心,必须的!!!!!

    altho sad, but u have to....
    live ur life...
    or u wnt have any chance at all....
    im sure one day that person would understand, why!
    even if that person wnt see it in person...
    would understand y u r the way u r right now


    left...

    always, as i couldn't hold back the tears of loneliness, then you would give me comfort.
    worried, the shortness of sunshine,anytime as i turn around, would be painted with thunder storm and greys.
    waiting, for the chance of the worst and the sweetest, im optimistic but exhausted.
    because, iam so scared of losing, so even happiness would contain so much worries and sorrows.

    you, never noticed, you would always hold me by your right hand
    but your heart is beating on the left side
    that far distance between us,always separated with cordial, but the love is pitiable small.
    reach out right hand, wish i could walk ahead with you
    feeling, the heart that love me is pumping on the left side
    I, the one who loves u so deeply, believes that one day you would see

    always, after buried your coldness, i would always rushing to say sorry
    almost, begging for a little bit of caring from the you who has drift away, its all my faults
    ending, it could have been so perfect and so lamentable, im getting ready for it
    maybe, the home that inside your heart, none could ever reach
    i always believed, one day, you would reach out your left hand and holding mine to walk for the future.

    the future is so far, but it could be achieved
    if our heart is on the same side, then i could hear your heart screaming out i love you
    总是 忍不住寂寞掉下 眼泪 你才会给安慰
    担心 短暂的晴天 随时 都可能 被阴霾收回
    等待 有机会最坏也最 甜美 我乐观却疲惫
    因为 太怕失去你 所以连快乐里 都装满悲伤

    你 不曾发觉 你总是用右手 牵着我
    但是心却跳动 在左边
    你和我之间 的遥远 永远隔着亲切 爱少的可怜
    伸出 右手 想陪着你 向前走
    感受 你爱我的心跳在左边
    那么深深 爱你的我 相信你会了解 (你一定 看的见)

    总在 埋怨过你的冷漠 之后 又急着说抱歉
    仿佛 向疏远的你 乞求一点体贴 都是我不对
    结果 有可能最美也最 可悲 我做好准备
    也许 太自由的你 心里面那个家 谁也不能回

    我一直相信 总有一天 你会用左手 牵着我走向明天
    未来很遥远 却会实现
    心在同一边 就能够 听见 你说的 那句 我爱你


    January 26

    how....why....

    how much more can i take....

    songs...

    Goodbye

    Sometimes...
    What may be the best thing for you to do
    Sometimes it the hardest thing for you to do
    And thats real
    Cause I know that I love you
    I know how I feel about you
    But I also know that don't make everything alright
    And for that reason
    I gotta say goodbye

    Tell me have you ever been in a
    Situation where the best thing you could do
    Is the hardest thing you've ever done
    But you try to do whats right
    And I know that deep down inside
    That I really wanna be there by your side
    But I can't stand to see you cry
    Not when its because of me

    And its over, I'll never love another
    I'm always thinking of her, I'm doing this because of her

    Don't wanna say goodbye
    I don't wanna let her see me cry
    Looking out the window and wondering why
    Did we have to say all those things that we said last night
    Baby I don't wanna say goodbye
    So I'm just standing here wondering why
    Just don't like to see when you cry
    So I'ma say goodbye

    If you think I cause I packed your stuff
    That inside I ain't really really cracking up
    Cause you're wrong I just hide it good
    Cause I know thats what you need
    And there's more to life than loving yourself
    You gotta learn to love somebody else
    And thats why I do the things that I do

    And its over, I'll never love another
    I'm always thinking of her, I'm doing this because of her

    Don't wanna say goodbye
    I don't wanna let her see me cry
    Looking out the window and wondering why
    Did we have to say all those things that we said last night
    Baby I don't wanna say goodbye
    So I'm standing here wondering why
    Just don't wanna see when you cry
    So I'ma say goodbye

    There's no one in this world that can ever take your place
    All the love that we share, it can never be erased
    And I know that, that it hurts so bad
    And its so that, that you're the best I've had

    There's no one in this world that can ever take your place
    All the love that we share, it can never be erased
    And I know that, that it hurts so bad
    And its so that, that you're the best I've had

    There's no one in this world that can ever take your place
    All the love that we share, it can never be erased
    And I know that, that it hurts so bad
    And it's so that, that you're the best I've had

    There's no one in this world that can ever take your place
    All the love that we share, it can never be erased
    And I know that, that it hurts so bad
    And it's so that, that you're the best I've had


      Goodbye

    FEEL FOR YOU
    I Can't Believe
    That I Am Admitting This To You
    Coz If You Know Me
    Then You Know How Hard
    It Is For Me To Say What I Mean.

    [Bridge:]
    Now I've Seen This On Tv
    Twice In The Movies,
    Never Thought That
    It Could Happen To Your Homie.
    Now I'm A Believer
    In All The Things To Do With You Coz
    I've Never Felt That

    [Chorus:]
    Our Love Could Be Perfect
    And That's What I Feel For You
    And Don't You Forget That
    That You're More Than Worth It
    And That's What I Feel For You
    I Feel Like Ali
    When He Shook Up The World
    And Like Prince Felt When He Wrote
    "The Most Beautiful Girl"
    Your Love Is Like A Song I Love To Sing
    And That's What I Feel For You

    [Verse 2:]
    Said I've Never Been Hooked Like This
    But I Tell Ya
    (Girl I'm All For It)
    (You I Adore It)
    Anything You Tell Me That
    You Need Girl I'll Get It
    (I'm In It For The Long Run)
    (I Swear You've Got Me On One)

    [Bridge:]
    I'm Gonna Ride Till The End Of Time
    I'm (Witch You Witch You My Baby)
    You Gotta Understand
    (I Need) All I Do Is Think Of You
    And I Swear
    That I've Never Felt

    [Chorus:]
    Our Love Could Be Perfect
    And That's What I Feel For You
    And Don't You Forget That
    That You're More Than Worth It

    And That's What I Feel For You
    I Feel Like Ali
    When He Shook Up The World
    And Like Prince Felt When He Wrote
    "The Most Beautiful Girl"
    Your Love Is Like A Song I Love To Sing
    And That's What I Feel For You

    [Third Verse]
    I Need To Everybody Who Needs Somebody
    To Grab Em By The Hand And
    Tell Em Just Like This:
    That When I'm With You
    I Don't Want No One Else
    You Gotta Me Feeling Better Than
    I've Ever Felt

    [Bridge:]
    I'm Talking About Everyday (Day)
    And Every Night (Night)
    And When I Hold You In My Arms
    It's Just Like Heaven
    Nothing Feels Better
    I Can't Believe It
    It Took Me So Long
    But I Ain't Ever Felt

    [Chorus:]
    Our Love Could Be Perfect
    And That's What I Feel For You
    And Don't You Forget That
    That You're More Than Worth It
    And That's What I Feel For You
    I Feel Like Ali
    When He Shook Up The World
    And Like Prince Felt When He Wrote
    "The Most Beautiful Girl"
    Your Love Is Like A Song I Love To Sing
    And That's What I Feel For You

    I've Never Felt That...

    [Chorus:]
    Our Love Could Be Perfect
    And That's What I Feel For You
    And Don't You Forget That
    That You're More Than Worth It
    And That's What I Feel For You
    I Feel Like Ali
    When He Shook Up The World
    And Like Prince Felt When He Wrote
    "The Most Beautiful Girl"
    Your Love Is Like A Song I Love To Sing
    And That's What I Feel For You

    That's What I Feel For You
    That's What I Feel For You...

    No-one Else Comes Close

    When we turn out the lights
    The two of us alone together
    Something's just not right
    But girl you know that I would never ever let another's touch
    Come between the two of us
    Cause no one else will ever take your place

    Chorus:
    No one else comes close to you
    No one makes me feel the way you do
    You're so special girl, to me
    And you'll always be, eternally
    Everytime I hold you near
    You always say the words I love to hear
    Girl with just a touch, you can do so much

    No one else comes close


    And when I wake up to
    The touch of your head on my shoulder
    You're my dream come true
    Oh, girl you know I'll always treasure
    Every kiss, every day
    I love you girl in every way
    And I always will cause in my eyes

    Chorus (2x)


    No one else comes close
    No one else comes close

    Damn I love you

    I Believe In You Lyrics

    I never believed in dreaming, it never got me very far.
    I never believed that love could find me, like an arrow through the heart.
    I never believed in miracles, or building castles in the air.
    Not until that day I found you, turned around and you were there.
    From the day you came, you gave me, a whole new point of view.
    I've been touched by an angel, it's impossible, but true.

    I believe in you.
    I swear that forever from today, no one will ever take your place.
    I believe in you.
    And I believe our love will last always.

    I never believed in
    fairy tales, tho sometimes I wish I could,
    I never believed that golden slippers could ever find the perfect foot.
    I never believed in magic, or that wishes could come true,
    But your very first kiss changed all this, something only you could do.
    You made me a believer, you made me trust again,
    You showed there's a pot of gold, at every rainbow's end.

    I believe in you.
    I swear that forever from today, no one will ever take your place.
    I believe in you.
    And I believe our love will last always.

    Only love, sets you free,

    And if you serve to fate, then you're my destiny.
    Now I know, now I see.
    Anything can happen, if you just believe.

    I believe in you.
    I swear that forever from today, no one will ever take your place.
    I believe in you.
    And I believe our love will last always.
    NO ONE

    I just want you close
    Where you can stay forever
    You can be sure
    That it will only get better
    You and me together
    Through the days and nights
    I dont worry cause
    Everythings gonna be alright
    People keep talking
    They can say what they like
    But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

    No one no one no one
    Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
    No one no one no one
    Can get in the way of what I feel for you
    You you
    Can get in the way of what I feel for you

    When the rain is pouring down
    And my heart is hurting
    You will always be around
    This I know for certain

    You and me together
    Through the days and nights
    [ No One lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
    I dont worry cause
    Everythings gonna be alright
    People keep talking
    They can say what they like
    But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

    No one no one no one
    Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
    No one no one no one
    Can get in the way of what I feel for you
    You you
    Can get in the way of what I feel for you

    I know some people search the world
    To find something like what we have
    I know people will try
    Try to divide
    Something so real
    So till the end of time
    Im telling you that

    No one no one no one
    Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
    No one no one no one
    Can get in the way of what I feel for you
    Oh oh oh....
    WHAT LOVE IS

    Beautiful, horrible, magical, terrible.
    Reason to laugh and smile.
    Reason to cry yourself to sleep at night.
    Start a fight. Make up, break up, wrong or right.
    Heaven for all this work can
    equally be hell right here on earth.
    (And no one really knows anything about it)
    But everybody needs it.
    We can't life without it.
    (And that's the way it goes)
    Darkest day, brightess night.
    Just some other things you might hear if you ask what love feels like.

    And it feels like joy, and it feels like pain.
    And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain.
    An excuse for dying, reason to live.
    And if you don't know, that's what love is.
    Love is.

    Gentle kiss, sweet caress.
    Kiss the base of your neck.
    argue until my head hurts, I can't remember what you said.
    Out, screaming loud, don't know what were screaming bout.
    So confusing yes its true, but if it wasn't there what would we do?

    (And no one really knows anything about it)
    But everybody needs it.
    We can't live without it.
    (And that's the way it goes)
    Darkest day, brightess night.
    Just some other things you might hear if you ask what love feels like.

    And it feels like joy, and it feels like pain.
    And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain.
    An excuse for dying, reason to live.
    And if you don't know, that's what love is.
    Love is.

    That's love.
    Anything that can bring you up or bring you down.
    That's love.
    Leave the sun up in your sky or the darkest clowds.
    That's love. And we need it.
    That's love. And we need it.
    That's love.
    Oh ask anybody how it feels

    And it feels like joy, and it feels like pain.
    And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain.
    An excuse for dying, reason to live.
    And if you don't know, that's what love is.
    Love is.

    And it feels like joy (joy), and it feels like pain (pain).
    And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain.
    An excuse for dying (oh), reason to live (oh).
    And if you don't know, that's what love is.
    Love is.




    IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY


    How do I say goodbye to what we had?
    The good times that made us laugh
    Outweigh the bad.

    I thought we'd get to see forever
    But forever's gone away
    It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

    I don't know where this road
    Is going to lead
    All I know is where we've been
    And what we've been through.

    If we get to see tomorrow
    I hope it's worth all the wait
    It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

    And I'll take with me the memories
    To be my sunshine after the rain
    It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

    And I'll take with me the memories
    To be my sunshine after the rain
    It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

    Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee


    Darlin' I can't explain
    Where did we lose our way
    Girl it's drivin' me insane
    And I know I just need one more chance
    To prove my love to you
    If you come back to me
    I'll guarantee
    That I'll never let you go

    Chorus:
    Can we go back to the days our love was strong
    Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
    Can somebody tell me how to get things back
    The way they use to be
    Oh God give me a reason
    I'm down on bended knee
    I'll never walk again
    Until you come back to me
    I'm down on bended knee

    So many nights I dream of you
    Holding my pillow tight
    I know I don't need to be alone
    When I open up my eyes
    To face reality
    Every moment without you
    It seems like eternity
    I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

    Chorus

    Gonna swallow my pride, say I'm sorry
    Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me
    I want a new life and I want it with you
    If you feel the same don't ever let it go
    You gotta believe in the spirit of love
    It can heal all things we won't hurt any more
    No I don't believe our love's terminal
    I'm down on my knees begging you please


    its all cos of me........



    wish i could

    wish i knew what i want in life
    wish i knew what im and how im.
    wish i knew why i made the choice i did
    wish i can make sense just this one time.
    ....
    ....
    ....
    ....
    but right not...it hurts....
    so bad, it like its all breaking inside....


    87864
    726726
    4094550
    2592970568308
    .......
    080901
    4094550259297023087072632
    .......

    -the end-
    January 24

    ................

    http://manga.clone-army.org/papereleven/gallery/wallpaper4.jpg
    ................................................................................................................................................
    安慰....
    ....

    January 23

    what love is....

    .....
    ...................................


    Beautiful, horrible, magical, terrible.

    Reason to laugh and smile.
    Reason to cry yourself to sleep at night......

    Start a fight...
    Make up, break up, wrong or right.
    Heaven for all this worth can equally be hell on earth......

    Darkest day, brightest night.

    love feels like..... joy, and it feels like pain.
    And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain.
    An excuse for dying, reason to live.

    that's what love is...................

    Gentle kiss, sweet corress.
    Kiss the base of your neck.
    Haunt you until my head works, I can't remember what you said.
    Out, screaming loud, don't know
    what i were screaming bout.
    So confused and yes its true, but if it wasn't there what would we do?
    we need it, we cant live without it....

    we have love and all the above...
    thats what love is.....





    87864...




    January 19

    carpe diem

    首先我要宣布一下,就是我们以后的那个空间要叫做什么.
    名字叫:carpe diem(古拉丁文就是seize the day得意思‘把握每一天’)你们看行不行!
    我们要把握每一天,要充实的度过这每一分一秒,再怎么痛苦再怎么困难都要微笑的去面对。。。
    smile tho ur heart is aching, smile even tho its breaking
    when there are clouds, in the sky u will get by
    if you smile through your fear and sorrow
    smile and maybe tomorrow
    you will see the sun comes shining through
    for you!
    if you just smile.
    我们就要这样去面对,这样去拼搏,这样去度过我们每一天,这样去追求自己的一切。。。。
    我真的想通了,这个世界上什么都那么回事,最重要的是你自己得满足。
    再多的钱,再多的女人,再多的旅行,只要你不觉得满足不觉得开心都没有!
    说句几句实话。。。。爷他妈的最满足和满意自己的时候就是原来可以不顾一切的时候
    去他妈的爱谁谁,我就是我!想做什么就做什么,出洋相,丢人,幼稚。。你们谁爱说谁说去
    我就活这么一次,所以我想做什么就要大胆的去做!哪怕最后什么都没有,起码我去努力去追求了
    我要做回忆前的我,过去的我,那个什么都不在乎得我,那个充满梦想的我
    这一次的刺激算什么,暴风雨暴风雪过后还是阳光明媚或如果幸运点还能见到彩虹
    因此!小爷我要从新开心起来,振作起来,变回那个永远充满信心和梦想的熊猫爱子
    什么痛苦,失落,忧郁,孤独
    爷通通享受和接受你们!因为:起码我还有这个机会去享受去接受去感受
    光爱子。。你要做出你的样子,你必须chase your dreams.然后让所有那些看不起,对你失望绝望或根本对你失去希望的认都他妈的看清楚
    看清楚,你不是一般的人!你不是一个生活在自己梦想中的人,你是去实现你梦想的人,你是一个拥有所有的人因为你有了自己的dream
    你必须努力战胜自己,让自己明白自己要做什么,让自己活的更加精彩充实他妈的美丽多才
    这才是你
    这才是这么多关心你在乎你的朋友家人眼中得你
    谁都有低落无助痛苦孤独的时候,但这不是颓废的借口更不是放弃的借口。。。
    不管你有再多的原因理由借口,那都没用!
    记住你最喜欢的一句话;
    Veni, vidi, vici(来自Julio César的一句话,意思是I came, I saw, I conquered,中文意思是。我来到了,我看到了,我拥有了)
    对于我来说。。我来到了这个世界,我看到了我的梦想,我拥有了我追求的一切(梦想)


    我要变回曾经的光爱子,我要变回以前的我,我要快乐的面对一切。。
    i will smile to this world, cos this world is smiling to me...


    最后!我要谢谢这些关心我的人,鼓励我的人!经管你们觉得没有做什么,但在我最需要你们的时候,你们给了我最温馨的话:
    哪怕只是一个 ‘hello' 一个 '你好' 一个 '爷' 一个 '你还好吗'

    so..i wanna say thank you to...(orders does not matter!!!顺序不代表什么):
     alex, 炎炎,songsong嵩嵩, zhouzhou周周, icy, 小乱叔叔,ice哥哥,黑c,千寻,kaye, 搋子,楠楠哥,andrea, imran,姑姑,精子,比比,宝宝,ching, viki,张楠哥哥,momo嫂子,vince叔叔,王岩哥哥,敏敏,小猫kim

    爱子真的谢谢你们,谢谢你们了。。。。suki thank you guys, thank you guys all honestly from her heart
    因为能认识你们,我!这辈子没白活......i got to know you guys, friends family sis and broth and cuz....my life is worth anything...
    so...i just wanna say....i fucking thank you all for being there for me,and i will always be there for you guys...


    January 18

    往事

    松子,浅草,mix,两鸡蛋煎饼,鹿冈小贞,一碗有苍蝇的牛肉面,肪善,无数次的后海。。这些对我来说!回忆中的回忆!友谊真的来之不易,而且我要感谢我的父母。感谢他们把我带来这个世界,而且更要感谢他们培养了我,之后我最要感谢的是,让我遇见你还有你们这些真心好朋友。因此!友谊万岁。
    他妈的一个电话,松子见啊!不见不散!哈哈,一瓶saki喝着,beef tariyaki吃着,往事聊着,然后时不时的下楼去给两只小狗味饭。去逛街,之后吃饭然后翔子面条里还有只苍蝇。你说我找老杨区欢乐谷,然后他妈的我都到了然后你电话说你去怀柔。我真要疯!
    无数次mix10点半门口见,无数次妞子给爷乐一个,无数次:操!门口吃煎饼去。无数次:两鸡蛋多刷酱。
    不过现在门口的煎饼越来越难吃了!!!而且还有他妈的五香味道!真不明白。。。
    反正就一句话!!!
    友谊万岁
    爷妞万岁
    我他妈的真想你们


    我有个想法。。以后!我,周周,磊子,假欧,老杨,精子,月子。。。大家都一起,合起来买一个旧factory然后我和老杨一起给装修好,然后大家一起住!一起闹一起烦一起心碎一起耍混蛋一起恶作剧。。。。。

    开心和沉闷

    我是他妈的怎么了?
    奇怪。。
    今天本来特别happy,而且都开始抽疯了。
    现在怎么又来劲了,开始郁闷!
    我是不是有什么病了?
    怎么情绪来回乱跳啊。。。
    奇怪

    可能。。。爷爷生日。。。
    爷爷。。生日快乐。。。。
    January 17

    me, and you....87864

    i dnt wanna fuss and fight
    i dnt wanna wast my time
    i just wanna be there for you, through all your good and bad
    ....................
    i know sometimes you wonder if im not there
    some time you feel frustrated
    im not there, im not answering your call, i dnt care about you
    but all i want is to be yours....
    i wanna be your baby
    i wanna be your panda
    i wanna be your girl
    i wanna be ....
    yours
    i never felt love like this before
    not like this
    i never felt love so strong
    not like this
    im gonna show you everyway, your calling for me right now
    i know im the one
    you know your the one
    love is so simple....
    almost like a dream
    but a dream comes true
    so true that i dnt even believe what i have
    man, wish i could be always there for you
    but guess, reality wnt let me
    work work work,hope you understand
    wish i can make you see.
    i wanna be there
    love you forever more
    i wanna be yours
    wanna prove you my love
    make you know that im right
    rigth for you...
    your the only one for me
    dnt wanna wast your time
    your the only one for me
    i just wanna love you
    i just wanna love you forever more.
    ur the one i want

    you should know

    a child who hinds behind a chair
    whos almost afraid  to grow
    without u there.....
    whisper words that makes you see
    what you have come to mean to me
    a voice, that rises from the heart
    telling me to see what my world means to me
    loving me,thats what you dnt always say to me
    but everytime, you make me believes
    something so simple and pure,is running to me
    and thats why

    loving you, loving you
    im saying whats deep down inside me
    i dnt wanna walk alone
    i dnt wanna wake up without you next to me
    i dnt wanna stop loving you loving you

    time passes so fast,almost like a flash of fallen star
    but out love cant end so soon, cos im here to stay
    all the things i wanna say,but maybe im shy
    i can only put into a song
    a song that i write for you
    just for you
    im here to stay, i dnt want no other but you
    dnt wanna spent my whole life looking for another
    cos i have my perfect one
    so i want you to know...

    loving you, loving you
    never felt so deep like this before
    i dnt think i can ever let go
    you meant the world to me
    this is why im writing you this song
    so give me your heart n not ur ears

    your like a star who shines for me from high above
    who blinds me from the rest
    maybe thats why u r the one, special and mine
    guess thats why i have no idea why i feel so strong for you
    someone who is so new to me...
    i just wanna say...
    if im the one who was  loving you, ill do anything that u need
    ill give you all you need, be so good to you
    i know its hard, but you can trust in me
    its about time for you know how much you mean to me...
    loving you, loving you
    thats why i wanna say

    boy just come with me
    lets go for a journey that none has been through
    so feel the love i have for you
    just as the love you make me feel from you
    cos i dnt think i can live without you

    your da only one for me, i need you
    i just wanna be there for you, even to watch you sleep
    cant you see, your the only one for me
    hear me out, im here to stay
    theres only me and you
    and you and me
    i just wanna love you...
    and be yours...




    87864


    haha! this is my song....just felt like writing it...
    hope the special one like it...heheh









    i shine you shine

    。。。

    怀念过去的一切。。。
    似乎这段时间我太混乱,没有发泄没有悲伤没有开心没有失落,拥有的只有在胸口中的忧郁与麻木。没有勇气和任何人诉说,我的一切混乱。今天和老杨聊天,没有任何悲伤的话题任何悲伤的话语,纯粹就是蛋逼。发现我好怀念以前的一切。和老杨无缘无故在王府井,西单预见,和他吃松子浅草乔江南,边吃边喝谈这往事。一起闹一起刷一起丢人!逛街之后我们吃牛肉面,翔子面里还有个苍蝇。陆纲小镇的一次轰动!无数的打闹,无数的欢笑!找他去欢乐谷,然后他妈的打电话告诉我在去怀柔的路上。这个死老杨阿。。。不过真的songsong嵩嵩死老杨,谢谢你今天让我想起了过去的一切!不然我可能还在他妈的郁闷中挣扎呢!
    谢谢了老杨兄。。。。
    January 07

    let me be

    我的世界如此;distorted illusion
    又一次失去双手的触觉

    在一次迷失自己的存在
    in this world, think only u knows my pain and head aches...
    people expects too much of me...n sometimes i wonder if its really worth all the pain and suffering...
    if only other people knows me 1/4 as much as you do...
    then i dnt think they will ask so much of me...2007 ended with tears and depression, 2008 is starting to get even worse...
    so many sleepless nit of wonder, so many sleepless night to suffer...
    i wonder if the world would be any different without me..
    the little me!
    why cant other people except me for who im, i just wanna be a panda, do what i want, dream what i want, fight for what i want...
    why doesnt no one else understand me...
    i just wanna be a panda, and live my life my way...
    ...
    why dnt noone else understand me and let me be....
     
    87864
     
    ?
     
     
    why cant you all just let me be....

    一曲

    在过去的一年告别了许多许多也增添了一些许多许多,但却觉得生命不像曾经自在多彩。如何接受或迎接新的一年;未知!也许当失去拥有才会明白曾经的美好,但,手中拥有已不再是他的手而是回忆中的笑容,声音动作气味或一种拍肩膀的感觉。现在,一个人记得当时的痛苦!和往常一样的熬夜赶设计,但现在却不能拿起电话拨打那熟悉的号码,听不到那熟悉的声音。
    坐在窗台寻找着那颗属于自己的星星,英国今夜很正气;雨水击打半晚的窗户变成清晰的夜空。或许出现了幻觉,但那里!一颗星的闪烁告诉自己他的存在,诉说那颗星的思念和眷恋。或许这就是人生中的一曲,回想起巴赫 air on the g string, 却似乎演变成另外一种旋律 ‘
    Art of fugue' 穿梭在黑白键高低凌乱的悲伤。指尖毫无保留的触动琴键带动琴弦发出冰冷的悲伤,似乎抒情却包含了一种悲哀和凄惨。如同存在虚构的真实人生,或许我把一切想象得太富有各种诱惑的色彩,到头来;泪水。

    怀念..想念..思念

    cherish.....

    告别了07年

    http://myhero.com/images/Artist/Escher/g1_u28675_HandWithReflectingSphere.jpg
    我的世界如此;distorted illusion
    又一次失去双手的触觉

    在一次迷失自己的存在


    January 06

    对你们太多的不满

    我她妈的烦,你们就一次一次的继续火上加油。。。。
    她妈给我挺好了
    对,我就要说,对你们有太多的不满!什么都要我做!为什么,我凭什么帮你们。。。我到底是你们的什么啊?努力,狗,保姆还是什么?我就是一个23岁的女孩,对!我就是。。为什么你们和别人说能做的事情,都要让我做?为什么要把那些完全不在我责任中的事情交给我去负责?为什么一边说要我好好学习,一边又让我去上班让我去帮你们做各种各样的事情?设计了网站,你们对我说什么了吗?你们一大把时间,为什么不自己去打听想明白的事情,为什么要我去打听去查?为什么要和我说那么难听的话?为什么你们什么权利都有,我什么权利都没有。我现在赶设计的时候,为什么要让我做这个做那个。。每次累病了的时候你们又对我说过什么。。。
    都问问自己。。。我是个人,而且是个很追求自己梦想的人。
    为什么你们每次都是害怕别人累,就不害怕我累!
    为什么都是别人对,从来都是我的错。
    打破一个玻璃,明明是别人打破的,为什么每次都怪我。。。
    为什么永远都是我的错?你们就没有错吗?
    你们玩的时候都是有各种理由,一到我这里呢。。。
    为什么对我就不公平。。。!!!为什么什么都要我去做,每一次都要我去付出。。。


    我受够了。。。我要消失。。。谁都她妈的别找我。。。我就操!
    都她妈的给我滚。。。我真的够了。。

    dnt fucking push me anymore...im at my limit......
    theres only so much i can take.....